This is a verbatim telephone conversation, recorded by our delightful Uncle Nunzio, who knew when something was funny. It captures perfectly the use of our Tolvese dialect, and they way in which our family elders switched back and forth seamlessly between dialect and English, even mid-sentence.
If I am going to say anything at all about my Great Aunt Rose I have to tell you one important thing about Aunt Rose. She was at a family gathering, in her nineties and in the flush of celebration and festivity she got up to dance the tarantella late in the evening. She danced until she fell down and died of a heart attack. That was Aunt Rose. She went out dancing.Aunt Rose was my grandfather, Vito Becce’s youngest sister. Uncle Rocco to whom she’s speaking in this phone call, was his younger brother. They were both taller than their other brothers and sisters. They came over from Italy much later than my grandfather. Aunt Rose attended grammar school in Waterbury when she came here as a thirteen year old speaking only her dialect. But she wound up speaking with almost no accent in her English, better than her older siblings. She had a certain savoie fare, a flare for dressing, an elegance, the demeanor of a lady. But she was also full of the devil, she loved a good prank. She was lively and funny. She worked in a lovely dress store in her neighborhood, and when it wasn’t busy she’d sit outside of the store on a stool pretending to be doing alterations so that she could chat up women walking down the street and get them to come into the store to buy clothes. Aunt Rose was married to Uncle Nunzio. Uncle Nunzio was a lively match for his perhaps even livelier wifeUncle Rocco was tall, handsome and charming. He, too, loved a good joke. He was a painter and plasterer for his work life. But his great triumph was that he married the nicest woman on the face of the earth, Aunt Antoinette. She was an astonishingly good cook, kind, gentle natured. She loved to play cards. She was completely beloved by everyone in our family, all of her nieces and nephews, all of us of the next generation, and by her sister-in-law, my grandmother, Lucia Santorsa Becce. We loved her, and Uncle Rocco was proud of his delightful wife. Both their families lived in the New York area. My Great Aunt Rose and Uncle Nunzio lived deep in Brooklyn, and my Great Uncle Rocco and Aunt Antoinette lived deep in the Bronx. The underlying message of this phone call will reveal itself to you, but I have to point out that in my family, being at home with your husband on Sunday constitutes being all alone: a bereft state to be in. It means you are without your people. Aunt Rose’s children aren’t coming over, her grandchildren aren’t coming over. There’s not a crowd to cook for. Therefore Uncle Rocco should come many difficult bus and train rides away. After all he actually was at home all alone. And Aunt Rose and Uncle Nunzio too, are all alone. Rose: Hello, Rocco?Rocco: Yeah.Rose: How are you?Rocco: Okay.Rose: How’s Antoinette?Rocco: I was taking a nap.Rose: I’m sorry. How’s Antoinette?Rocco: She’s all right. You see, Vicky [his daughter] had an operation.Rose: On what?Rocco: On her neck. She had a little tumor, but they took it out. She’s all right. Everything’s all right.Rose: So she’s [Antoinette] over there?Rocco: Yeah. They went away for three or four days to Pennsylvania, Vicky and . . .Rose: And Mickey?Rocco: Mickey. Yeah. They’re coming back Sunday.Rose: Yeah. So you’re all alone?Rocco: Next week she’s coming home.Rose: E vin ca a mang c nuj dumenc (So come eat with us on Sunday.)Rocco: I don’t know, because Danny, chi m’ l’aspett. (He is waiting for me.)Rose: And where is Danny?Rocco: Curu m’è figl a me. (He’s a son to me.)Rose: And where is Danny?Rocco: I don’t know.Rose: When was he supposed to come?Rocco: Well, just a minute, let me explain to you. Pat called me up. I said, where’s your father? No, I called him up. I said, where is your father? He says, he wouldn’t come now. He says, he’s going to come when Aunt Rose is coming home. And I says, is he all right? He says, I don’t know. He says, he suffered with a headache.Rose: Oh.Rocco: He’s supposed to let me know. I don’t know if he’s coming or not.Rose: E Rocc se a steij sul sul vin a mang cu nuj dumenc. (So Rocco, if you are going to be all alone, come eat with us Sunday.)We have a lot to talk about.Rocco: All right. That’s a good idea, yeah. M’ha nvitt pur figlm Mike. (My son Mike also invited me.)Rose: Ma vin ca. T stai c nuj. (But come here, stay with us.) We’re all alone Sunday.Rocco: Well, all right. If he don’t come, I’ll come there. Yeah.Rose: Will you let me know or you don’t?Rocco: I don’t know, either. I don’t have to let you know. I’ll be there, before 12:00 I come.Rose: But I mean, you’re coming definitely. You come all way o no. Rocco: Well, I don’t know, Rose. Agg aspett mo, agg vrè. (I have to wait now, I have to see.) If I tell you yes, I’d tell you lies. Rose: But I mean, in case Danny don’t come, you come anyway, no?Rocco: I’ll come, yeah.Rose: If Danny comes, you come anyway.Rocco: Yeah, all right.Rose: All right. So how do you feel, Rocco?Rocco: I feel fine. I feel good.Rose: We have a lot to talk about. Tnemm tand cos da deic, ya know. Amm iut a Don Mincucc m’tratt tanta nice, quann so brv. M’ha datt nu picture della figl quann ha spusat. (We have a lot of things to say, ya know. We went to Don Domenico. He treated me so nice, how nice they are. He gave me a picture of his daughter when she got married.)Rocco: Oh, yeah. [Minucc] really nice.Rose: Pur la mglier, quand je brav. (Also the wife, how nice she is.)Very nice. Po m’vnut a truà Zì Gaetanell. (Then Zia Gaetana came to visit me.)Rocco: Dove hai dormut? (Where did you sleep?) Rose: Niscioun m’ha dett add durm, amm statt a l’hotel. M’ha custat tanda sold fratt mij. (No one said to me where are you going to sleep. We stayed at a hotel. It cost me lots of money, my brother.) 10,000 dollars a night, uh lire a night. Giust che durmì. (Just to sleep.)Rocco: Addò, addò t’è culcat? (Where, where did you sleep?)Rose: A Putenz, a l’hotel, niscioun m’ha vulut. (In Potenza, a hotel, no one wanted me.)Rocco: E a Tolv da nisciuna vann? (And in Tolve, nowhere?)Rose: E a Tolv iv u jurn e m’v a culcà a l’hotel la sèr. (Well in Tolve, I went during the day, and then I went to sleep in the hotel at night.)Rocco: Ahh, po’ t n iv ndrt a l’hotel . . . (aw, then you went back to the hotel…)Rose: Yeah, Nunzio got sick. Teng a Nunzj nu puc malat. (I have Nunzio who is a bit sick.)Rocco: Oh, for God’s sake.Rose: Ca chilla cos ca jemm a Tolv, ya know, Putenz a Tolv ngià dsturbat u gasoline. E ngià dsturbat pour chill curves. Ij non. (Well because going to Tolve, you know, Potenza then Tolve, the gasoline bothered him. The curves also bothered him. Me no.)Rocco: Oh yeah, chill curves. (those curves.)Rose: Yeah. U teng nu poc malat. I don’t know se je u culer. Se je… (Yeah, I have him a bit sick. I don’t know if it’s cholera. I don’t know if it’s…)Rocco: He’s still sick?Rose: Yeah, u teng nu poc malat.Voul semb la backhouse. (Yeah, I have him a bit sick. He always wants the bathroom.)Rocco: Oh, and then he got a diarrhea. Yeah. Well, I had that too.Rose: You had that too?Rocco: Yeah. It’s the water.Rose: Ma, he was all right. Quann aimm iut a Tolve è stat duij tre iurn bun e po’ è carut malat. (When we went to Tolve, he was fine two or three days, and then he got sick.)Rocco: Curu dsgraziat d vecchj non t puteij dec vint a culcà qua? (That disgraceful old man couldn’t say come stay at my house?)Rose: Yeah.Rocco: Curu dsgraziat. Se nger bon la bonnanm d mamm . . . (That disgraceful old man. If my mother, her good soul, was still well.)Rose: Well, it’s all right.Rocco: Ca tò, t’agg rett t putiv i a culcà a la cas d Peppnocc ziant addò so stat ij. (Well you, I told you you could go sleep at your Uncle Peppnocc’s house where I stayed.)Rose: No, he’s not. He’s in Potenza now. He’s in Putenz. That guy you wanted to sleep he’s not Tolv no more. He’s in Potenza. But it’s all right, ya know. S n’hann iut i sold ma amm durmut nice in d’hotel. A c or n’amm vulut auza n’auzam. (We spent some money, but we slept well in the hotel. Whatever time we wanted to wake up, we woke up.)Rocco: Quanta iurn sij stat a Tolv? (How many days did you stay in Tolve?)Rose: Well we got there on a Monday, and n’amm vnut Saturday, agg lasciat Saturday morning. (. . . we came back Saturday, we left Saturday morning.)Rocco: Oh yeah? E ogn ser iv a Putenz a culcà? (And every night you went to Potenza to sleep?)Rose: Yeah, ogn ser a Putenz a culcà. Agg iut a d l’Elvir, m’ha dat na mangiat e chell è stat tutt. La figl d Zi’Agat ca m diss la picciariell alloc. Chell mamma mij tin i cazz arrvutat. Ha murt u frat, la sor ten a u spdal. Po, we talk about it. Quann vin I got lot to tell you. But I don’t know. Maybe I mind my business. I shouldn’t tell. (Yeah, every night in Potenza we went to sleep. I went to Elvira, she gave us a meal and that’s all. Zia Agata’s daughter told me the little girl cries. That one, mamma mia, she has a lot of problems. Her brother died, her sister is in the hospital. But, we talk about it. When you come…).Rocco: Quand ev ca je murt Mast Vit? (How long ago did Maestro Vito die?)Rose: Chi je Mast Vit? Oh, I think this last summer he died. (Who is Maestro Vito?)Rocco: Last summer?Rose: Yeah. He got killed. In the automobile. Rocco: That’s…che peccat. Nice boy. (That’s a shame..)Rose: Yeah, Zia Lucij par nu pizz i stracc. (Yeah, Zia Lucia is a mess. [literally: looks like a piece of rag])Rocco: Ah, chell semb accss staij. Quann l’agg ngiout a truà ij, same thing. (Ah, that one is always like that. When I went to visit her, same thing.)Rose: Ma mang arraggionn. (She can’t even reason.)Rocco: Ma non pu mang arraggiun. (You can’t even reason with her.)Rose: No, no. Rocco: Eight years ago we couldn’t talk to her.Rose: C’agg lasciat na cos d sold, l’agg fatt p l’anm du purgatorij. Anzchè agg sc trà i sold, agg sc accattà na cos…(I left some money, I did it for mercy [literally: for the soul in purgatory] Instead of going to get money, going to buy something…)Rocco: Ma a la figl, l’è vist? (But, the daughter, did you see her?)Rose: Yeah. She want me there for dinner. Ma n’avimmà vnè. Chill m’ha trattat nice, u figl d Ncol U Truc, ca ten uh…, ca ten la chiang a Tolv. (But we had to leave. That one treated me nice, the son of Ncol the Truc, who has…who has the butcher shop in Tolve.)Rocco: Ch jè, u figl d Ncol? (Who, Ncol’s son?)Rose: Yeah, ten la chiang. (Yeah, he has the butcher shop).Rocco: Cur ca stacij ind la cas nostr? (The guy who was in our house?)Rose: Ncol U Truc, Ncol U Truc, U figl ca tnij la chiang. (Ncol the Truc, Ncol the Truc, his son who has the butcher shop.)Rocco: Chill stacij ind la cas nostr, fors chill là. (That guy was in our house, maybe that one.)Rose: I don’t know. Ten la muglier ca è la surast. S’ha spusat a la surast. (He has the wife who’s his step-sister. He married his step-sister.)Rocco: Ah, allor non je chill. È n’aut. È fat la mglier? (Ah, then it’s not him. It’s someone else. Is his wife fat?)Rose: No, nice, na bella giovn. (No, nice, a beautiful young woman.)Rocco: Non è chill, non è chill allor. So, alright, I’ll see you. (It’s not him, it’s not him then.)Rose: You come anyway. Non m rec yes o no. (Don’t tell me yes or no.)Rocco: Look, look, Rose, I can’t promise you those things. Come anyway. I ain’t got nothing to do, sure I come. I don’t know what’s going to happen until Sunday.Rose: You mean, to your wife? You might go to your wife?Rocco: No, I don’t have to go to my wife. I talk to her already. She says, you don’t have to come. She’s all right. She’s got all the girls to help, and help her sabt a ser – sabt. (Saturday night, Saturday.)Rose: Yeah. Ij teng la mogl, teng la mamm d my son-in-law, Betty. You know, Leon’s mother. Ogn vot ca ammà ij a mangià da stu figlm o vnè ca, I’ll let you know. I don’t know. Maybe yes, maybe no. I don’t like this. O rec yes or no. Ij m’agg preparà. I go to work. M capsc to a me? (Yeah, I have the wife, uh I have the mother of my son-in-law, Betty . . . Every time we have to go eat at my son’s house or he has to come here, I’ll let you know. I don’t know. Maybe yes, maybe no. I don’t like this. Or you say yes or no. I have to get ready . . .Do you understand me?)Rocco: You’re going to work yet?Rose: I’m going to go to work tonight. Tonight.Rocco: Oh, for God’s sake. Subbt è iut a fatgà. (Right away you went to work.)Rose: I just got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday . . . Rocco: Non t putij rpusà sta sttman? What the hell is the matter with you? (You couldn’t relax this week?)Rose: They need me so bad, (at the store where she worked). We short of girls. They can’t get over that me and my husband are still working.Rocco: Well, all right. I’ll come to see you. Yeah.Rose: All right. Definitely.Rocco: I hope that Danny come, I’ll let you know before.Rose: You don’t have to let me know, just tell me you’ll come. If he comes, he comes. All right?Rocco: (inaudible)Rose: All right, you call me up. Se vin Danny(if Danny comes), call me up then.Rocco: Fa di maccaroun suirch, that’s all, what’s the difference. (Make some extra pasta.)Rose: Yeah, I’ll make home-made.Rocco: All right.Rose: All right? All right. You definitely come.Rocco: Okay. I’ll try.Rose: All right. Why? You don’t feel good, Roc?Rocco: Yeah, I feel all right. I told you I feel all right.Rose: All right, Rocco.Rocco: Okay?Rose: Yeah. So Mike staij buon, tott quant buon? (So Mike is well, everyone’s well?)Rocco: Mike ha carout da u bicycle e got quindc punt a la man. (Mike fell from the bicycle and got fifteen stitches in his hand.)Rose: Aww.Rocco: è carout cu bicycle… Ma vaj a fatigà. Lunedij non ha iut. Pur u uaglion er ngopp u bicycle, s’è fatt mal pur u uaglion. (He fell with the bicycle…But he’s going to work. Monday he didn’t go. Even the kid was on the bicycle, he got hurt too.)Rose: He got hurt, the kid?Rocco: Yeah, a little bit. But he’s all right. They’re all right, both of them.Rose: Jeez. I’m glad they’ve got nothing. That everything is fine with a little tumor.Rocco: Oh, yeah, she’s all right. You know who is in a bad shape?Rose: Who?Rocco: La mglier d Mast… (The wife of Mast…)Rose: Aww, Mec quand sta bell,Mec a bell. (How beautiful Mec, so beautiful.)Rocco: Yeah, ha fatt assaj acqu ind u stomc. (Yeah, there’s a lot of water in her stomach.)Rose: Ma che ten u cancer? Ten u cancer? (But does she have cancer? She has cancer?)Rocco: Ah, I don’t know, agg rett a Danny what’s she got a cancer your wife. Says, I don’t know, Rocco. They didn’t tell me nothing. Rose: Eh sure non l’ha vulut dic. Se fatt tott chiena d’acqu. Maria nostr accse fec. Cumenzò a f n’operazion po’ s fec chiena d’acqu. Maronn tutt u munn nder. E quand era bell Maria e quand era bella. Tutt s l’arrcordn. Listen, Rocco, chella Elvr, curu marit, che pccat chella bella giovn. Curu marit accsì piccul piccul piccul. (Eh sure he didn’t want to say anything. She got full of water. This happened to our Maria. It started with an operation, and then she got full of water. Madonna, the whole entire world. Maria was beautiful, how beautiful she was. Everyone remembers her. Listen, Rocco, that Elvira, her husband, what a shame, that beautiful girl. That husband, so small, small, small.Rocco: Chi è? (Who?)Rose: Elvira Costanz.Rocco: La sor d Luc? He’s the best man they ever got there. He’s a good man. (Luca’s sister?)Rose: Yeah, he is wonderful.Rocco: Very smart. To è vrè che job ca tneij a Rom id! He’s a smart boy. (You should’ve seen what a job he had in Rome!)Rose: Yeah. He is a very smart man. Very much, yeah.Rocco: [….] Ha vut una buona cosa anyhow. . . . ca chir povr fgliòl s murevn d fam a Tolv. (He had a good thing anyhow…because those poor girls were starving in Tolve.)Rose: Me l’ha dit, me l’ha dit, me l’ha dit id. They had nothing to eat. (He told me, he told me, he told me.)Rocco: I know.Rose: All right, Rocco. I’ll see you soon.Rocco: Hai vist a quer aut ca staij a Padul? A Esterin? (Did you see that one who lives in Padula? Esterina?)Rose: Esterin m’è vnut a truà, povra fglj. È vnut cu iurn e se nè iut la ser. Jè vnut nu minut la ser e se nè iut la matin. (Esterina came to see me, that poor girl. She came one day and left that evening. She came a minute one evening, and she left the morning.)Rocco: è vnut a truà? (She came to visit?)Rose: Yeah, yeah. Tott brav. (All nice.)Rocco: Chell tin bell figl tin. (She has beautiful children.)Rose: Beautiful children. Rocco: Hai vist i figl d Ernest? (Did you see Ernesto’s kids?)Rose: Yeah, quand so, maron chell quand me vol ben la mogl d Ernest. (Yeah, they’re so, oh Madonna, Ernest’s wife loves me so much.)Rocco: I figl’ d’ Ernest’ l’è vist? (And did you see Ernesto’s kids?)Rose: Yeah, beautiful girls. Rocco: S’hann spusat? (Did they get married?)Rose: No. Vann a u colleg tott e doij. (No. They both go to college.)Rocco: Eh, che chill hann arruat quas a vend quatt ann. (Eh, because they must be about twenty-four years old.). Rose: No, oun n tin vint e n’aut dicianov. That’s all. (No, one is twenty and the other nineteen.)Rocco: Oun vint e n’aut dicianov? What are you talking about? (One twenty and the other nineteen?)Rose: Yeah, She got one after the other. Accsì m’ha ditt a me. (That’s what she told me.)Rocco: Eh, ca chill so ott ann. Oun tnij quindc e l’aut tridc. Eh, tin vint tre oun. What are you talking about? (Eh, because eight years have passed. One was fifteen, the other thirteen. Yeah, one is twenty-three.)Rose: Hm! Quer accsì m’ha ditt a me. (Hm, this is what she told me.)Rocco: Okay, I’ll see you.Rose: All right, Rocco. I’ll see you Sunday. I hope that Danny’s all right. Lo semb u scriv ma non m rsponn, mang fann u telefon, nothing, Rocco. (I always write, but he doesn’t answer. They don’t even call.)Rocco: I don’t know.Rose: All right, Roc, I’ll see you Sunday.Rocco: Okay, bye-bye.Rose: Bye-bye
